by DJ Alling (previously published at Suite Magazine)
The biggest problem with this school of thought is, “perfect” women do not exist. It may be cliché but beauty and “perfect” truly is in the eye of the beholder. For example, is a bulbous forehead, broad nose and wide-set eyes “beautiful”? If you say no, then you’ve just excluded Tyra Banks. What about “fish lips” a somewhat scrunched face, long non-descript hair? If you shake your head, then Denise Richards has likewise been stricken from the list. Okay… what about short? Then say bye-bye to Hallie Berry. So, what makes wide hips a bigger “flaw” than “fish lips” or being short? Nothing except our own personal perceptions. It is definitely a shot in the arm to see beautiful “real sized” women like Star Jones, Cameryn Manheim, and teen Raven Simone in the spotlight, but they are the exception. It seems as if real sexy women who have hips and thighs are an abnormality, instead of the actuality that the average American woman is size 14 or over.
So, what makes a woman sexy? Size zero jeans and boyish hips? Sure, tell that to Queen Latifah. Do you have to be rich and have a personal hair stylist and clothes that cost more than most people’s homes to be sexy if you happen to be over a size 2? Well, it
definitely doesn’t hurt, but it’s not necessary! Sexy isn’t a state of being it’s a state of mind. Your dress size, your bra size, or your bank account size doesn’t dictate sexy. Sexy definitely isn’t determined by what popular media says men think. Did you know the super voluptuous Marilyn Monroe is still one of the hottest selling pinups? The Internet is clogged with sites dedicated to “big beautiful woman” porn, singles, and chats. Granted a “men seeking bbw’s” chat room may not be where you want to meet your mister right, but if men truly listened to what the popular media says about beauty, these things would not exist.
Men think what we allow them to think when it comes to what is or isn’t desirable. If you
go around feeling undesirable, you are going to put out that vibe to everyone around you.
Take control of your sexuality. Feeling sensual and desirable isn’t as hard as it sounds. As a matter of fact, the most seductive thing about a woman can be her confidence. If you feel good about yourself, that is going to radiate from you, and others are going to feel good about you. There are things you can do, that don’t include dieting yourself to death, which can make a world of difference about how you feel inside. The better you feel inside, the better you look on the outside. Easier said than done, right? Not necessarily. Here are a few things you can do to get yourself feeling as sexy as you truly are:
Pamper yourself.
That’s right! Take an hour or two away from the job, the husband, the kids, what ever it is that keeps you feeling like you are running on empty. Light some candles, take a bubble bath, listen to a relaxing CD, read a trashy book, or do all four at the same time.
Yes, I said it! I’m not saying load up on wrinkle creams, or cake make-up to hide flaws. It isn’t about flaws, and it isn’t about make-up. It’s about looking and feeling fresh. Clean healthy skin puts off a sexy glow.
No, I am not going to start on one of those lose weight tangents. It’s not about dieting or being thin, or even thinner. It is about feeling good. Heavy, greasy, and sugary foods make you feel sluggish and don’t give your body the nourishment it needs. Fruits, vegetables and lots of water will help give you that healthy glow.
Not only does a nice sensual fragrance turn on a man, but also I dare you not to feel sexy when you smell good enough to eat.
Dress sexy.
You can’t FEEL sexy in baggy sweatpants. Believe it or not, you can dress however you want. Society cannot make you wear nothing but jeans and T-shirts that hide every perceived flaw. Not that jeans and a T-shirt can’t be sexy; trust me it can. But spice it up occasionally. You can show a little skin, and yes, it is sexy. Also, contrary to popular belief, there are places out there that make sexy clothes for women of any size.
The most important thing to remember is to be confident in who you are as a woman. Your sexuality isn’t defined by society; you define it. You can be as sexy as you want to be. You are as sexy as you feel.
